Wednesday, 20 May 2015

Breaking News: Austin Rivers takes over GM Responsibilities for Reeling Father


The Clippers Clipped.

Personally, in the past, I have disliked the notion of calling the clippers chokers because they have been unable to reach the conference finals. Sure they haven't made it and they have been good enough, although its not like they are playing in the NBA's 2nd division (the East). They have been competing with the likes of the OKC Thunder and Spurs for the last 4 playoffs, and to say they choked because they didn't win is ridiculous, they just got beaten by different teams.

Although after this 7 game series with the Houston Rockets, I'm not too sure. They were the better team, playing better basketball, and had a 3-1 lead in the series. This year is the first in which they have been the favorites to make the conference finals (after beating the spurs). They were comfortably favoured, yet they couldn't finish the job. So maybe now we can justify calling them chokers, but ill leave that up to you.

Game 7 was a mess for the Clippers, after watching it again, they just got beaten. From the get go they just didn't look like the team they were in game the first 4. They were shaken. Their big three had great statistical games sure, but that's what happens when you play just about every minute. And to me, that was the biggest problem. For Game 7 the Clippers came out slow, they didn't have the urgency they needed to be playing with, and they couldn't match the Rockets. Chris Paul didn't start aggressive enough, and when he really started to get it going it almost felt too late. A lot of the problems we all knew the Clippers had, ended up coming back to bite them, they just didn't have enough players they could rely on in the playoffs. And it resulted in a team, that just seemed mentally, not to mention physically, exhausted.



Since the crushing game 7 loss, fingers are being pointed. Because who put this team together for the 2014-15 NBA season anyway, Coach/GM Doc Rivers. Doc is undeniably one of the best Coaches in the league, although his tenure as the general manager of the Clippers has not been as successful as many expected. With the Dudley trade, Hawes accusation (and burying) and the self sacrificing effort to keep his own son in the league, Doc created a title contender with only 6.25 capable players, sometimes less.

The avalanche of expectations is now crashing down upon the champion head coach.

Although in breaking news, sources report that the Head Coaches favourite son has stepped up and taken the role as general manager to allow his father to focus more on leading the team.

After an up and down postseason Austin felt like he wasn't being utilised how he had hoped. He admitted that after being purchased, at the high cost of his fathers human soul, he would be given a high position in the team, simply because of his dads favour.
Austin has thus decided to step up and take over management responsibilities for the basketball organisation.
Clearly covering up the frustration he is experiencing due to his lack of minutes, he said about the move "That's what we do in this family, when one of us is struggling the rest of us are here to help out."

In response to the move, Doc refused to respond although was obviously disgusted and disappointed with this offsprings actions. He was heard mentioning off record "that at least I don't have to coach his arse anymore."

We imagine that this may cause an extreme rift in both the family life and working life of the duo. As we have seen around the head office tension can be the undoing of teams, although we can only hope that that this Rivers duo turns out more successful than Docs solo escapades.

- Sorry for the Satire

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