Thursday 19 June 2014

Breaking News: LeBron says he will sign with Miami for $24.80



Heading into the offseason after a disappointing loss in the NBA Finals LeBron James, who has a big decisions to make in terms of where he wants to be playing in the coming years, has mentioned he will sign with Miami, for next to nothing.
Each of the Big 3, who together, have made the last four NBA finals, have the option to opt out of their contract this year, and resign wherever they like.
LeBron being the most valuable of the three has come under a lot of scrutiny in terms of where he will be taking his talents. Many teams have been freeing up cap space and packaging a tempting enough lineup to lure the superstar forward. Some franchises have even gone to the extent of sending love letters with chocolates and sometimes even roses to LeBron's Miami residence in an attempt to woo him into "bed" with them.

Although only minutes before getting on a plane with his wife and kids to go on vacation King James made comments about his future. He first told reporters how devastated he is about the Finals loss. "Thats what its about, this game, its all about winning that one series, and we didn't, we weren't good enough." He then went on to say how since Chris (Bosh) has mentioned he will be willing to take less money to keep his home near to the warm beaches of Florida, so is he. "Its all about putting the best team together, we have had that in the past, and I'm more than willing to take a bit less money, to make that again."

Although as the games best player continued to talk, things came to light that seem to suggest that a "bit less," is a massive under exaggeration.
"It makes sense, I take less money, so does Chris and Wade, and we can afford to bring a few more assets to this winning franchise," when questioned he mentioned he doesn't need the money "Dude, have you seen my Nike deal, and hey the more chips I get the money I will accumulate anyway dawg! I'm set."

"Ive spoken to Pat and the organisation, they are all in, I've messaged Kevin (Love) and Kyle (Lowry), and they both sent emoticons back so they should be all good for it," "I'm pretty sure Melo would be keen as well."
Pat Riley confirmed shortly after that LeBron has decided to sign with the Heat as soon as possible for $24.80. "He didn't have any cash on him and there was a shirt he saw at one of the markets that he really wanted on the way in, so I just gave him the cash and he said he would sign with us again."

This one

Things were looking great for Miami, the possibility of keeping their Big 3 whilst having the funds to add a few extra high quality players. That was until yesterday when Kobe posted a tweet, trash talking Wade, saying he mustn't be a franchise player thats respected enough to be paid anything reasonable. Dwayne now says he will be signing for no less that $48.6 million, so thats all screwed.

- Sorry for the Satire -

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