Comeback Kids

Everyone loves a comeback story. After seeing Russell Westbrook as his dominant self in the playoffs, fans generally forgot the fact that he had recently endured eight million knee surgeries. His comeback, and return to past form was literally unfathomably smooth. In retrospect it seems unbelievable that a person could undertake 3 knee surgeries, (the knee being an important part of the leg and the leg an important part of basketball) within a year and still be able to contribute and any level. Although he returned with next to no hiccups, to the outrageously athletic and explosive form of not really playing defence "most of the time" level that he usually competes at.
On top of that he averaged 26 points, 8 assists and 7 rebounds a game during the post season, something that hasn't been done since the Big O.
He absolutely deserved the ESPYS award for best comeback athlete of the year.

Although I want, and the NBA world needs another one. The League needs Derrick Rose back.

An injury of any form is awful to comprehend and deal whether it's your own, a team mate's or your favourite player's.
But to see a superstar forced to the sideline for the best part of 2 years is demoralising.
I'm not a Rose or Chicago fan, yet I miss Derrick. No one wants to see someone as exciting as he having to fight injuries just to get on the court at this young point in his career.
He has always been ridden for not having a good enough shot as "his shot mechanics are not fluid," and he isn't a vocal enough leader as well as an average defender. I agree, he generally took far to many deep threes relative to his shooting percentage, but all players have flaws, and really, I don't give a flip about any of that right now. I just want him back on the court.
Explosive, blindingly quick, handles like a F1 car and one of the best finishes around. An MVP calibre player, even if he did win the "can't be stuffed voting for LeBron this year," trophy.
Derrick Rose needs to come back.

The East desperately needs him, if he can be healthy this year, there is no reason why the Bulls don't win the East. Not because they will be great, but because the East sucks. Washington could be up there, but they are young still, Miami will be strong but will have to adapt to their new changes, plus Wade is a question mark. The Pacers had no offence last year and just lost their primary offensive source. Cleveland have a lot to figure out, they will be good, because they have the best player in the L, although it always takes time to sort out how players work together on a new team. And that will be even more noticeable if they get Kevin Love. Yeah they will have a great "Big 3," but they are going to have a lot of issues as well. LeBron and kyrie both need the ball, and both work out of Isolations, Love isn't a rim stopper and Varajao can only play 30 games a season. Then they have whoever they don't trade and some old people most likely, it will take time.
Remember Miami's big three was "a bust" most of their first year together, and those three were far better than the three Cleveland could possibly put together.

(In saying that, if there was a market for it, Im betting that whoever comes out of the West will sweep the team that comes out of the East).

The Bulls biggest problem last year was scoring the ball. A healthy Rose does that. Pau also provides options for them on the court. With their offensive floor general back, the Bulls will be good again.

Basketball needs Derrick to come back. He is too much of a distinctive player not too. A successful return will be great for the League, because no one wants to have to consider T-Mac in this situation.

LeBron James, Lance Stephenson: BedroomBedlem

Things got uncomfortably frisky in the home of LeBron James this weekend. Sources confirm that at 12.47 am Saturday,  LeBron felt his wife, Savannah, whisper sweet nothings in his ear only to roll over and find Indiana Pacer guard Lance Stephenson beside him in the bed. After mass screaming and confusion, sources confirm that Stephenson and James engaged in a violent and prolonged fist fight, resulting in Stephenson laying unconscious outside the South Beach home. According to witnesses, James walked back inside shaking his head with a small gash on his hand. Darryl Holding, an apparent neighbor of James stated “well I don’t live in Cleveland, but I sure witnessed that!”.

LeBron and Lance have a history of awkward and confusing moments

LeBron and wife Savannah Brinson

The Indiana Times reports that despite the poor outcome for Stephenson, his spirits were lifted when teammate Paul George stated that he thought Stephenson “outplayed” LeBron during the fight.

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Greg Oden say's Embiid is the Most Promising Draft Prospect

Greg Oden, the man most well known for not owning Microsoft, not being able to tap dance and not playing NBA basketball has come out and said that Joel Embiid is the most promising rookie prospect for the 2014 Draft.

Embiid is a dominant big man, with an NBA ready body. In many ways he shows a lot of the same promise Greg Oden did going into the 2007 season. Although due to several recent injuries, Joel Embiid has been dubbed questionable by several analysts and NBA general managers. Injuries, especially back injuries, and especially in big men are a major concern in a fast paced league with an extreme workload.

 

Although Oden is willing to overlook these unfortunate injuries and possible lingering hindrances, and says "we should focus on his potential."

Quality Centres are the hardest thing to come by in the league today as well as being one of the most important parts of a team. Because, fact: it is one of the 5 positions listed on a coaches clip board.

 

When questioned whether Oden felt like Embiids case could be anything like his own, considering he has spent the last 7 years (sometimes, occasionally, rarely) successfully moving from bench to physio table to bench, Oden was still optimistic about his affects on the team.

"I'm a finals guy, no don't question this, I made the finals."..... "Joel (Embiid) can only dream of being like me."

 

Greg has also made it known that he would love to mentor Embiid if the chance ever came his way. Saying that he organised and developed a lot of the techniques he used for his injury rehab as well as his game conditioning. Believing that he could greatly help Joel and his future career, maybe even get him to the NBA Finals like he did.

Oden said that worst case scenario is he causes Joel Embiids knees to explode simultaneously, destroying any chance of a career, although stopping any pain in his back being at all relevant.

Fixing the NBA

This week I lived at home by myself. This is not a first-time occurrence, but it is the first time I've been home alone since I began full time work. In my scramble to complete domestic duties before leaving for work, I found my mind was not as sharp as it needed to be. One morning I forgot to shave, and worked a day with a slowly protruding chin fuzz that displayed a red tinge by days end. The next day I forgot to brush my teeth, and was so self conscious that I rushed home to correct my displeasing mouth gas. But not all was for a loss, as on Thursday morning while absent-mindedly pouring milk on my cereal, I realised it was not milk, but in fact Farmers Union Iced Coffee. Despite the generous contribution I was making to my future diabetes diagnosis, I plowed through the coffee-infused bran bowl. It was going to be a good day.

This was confirmed by a phone encounter at the clinic in the afternoon. One of our receptionists is named person x, a darling woman who is as innocent as she is soft-spoken. person x informed me that an elderly gentleman was enquiring about a product that his coach had suggested we may stock, she believed it could have been a form of back-brace, and did not recognise the product name. This is how I received a written note from the front desk saying, "Do we stock any Erectomax?". 

Yes, Erectomax is a herbal supplement for erectile dysfunction, and no, we don't have any at the moment, sorry. Poor person x now has a Google search history looking for Erectomax, and we have a story for every work-related function until the end of time.

Anyway, the reason I decided to write something today was this;

The NBA is about 40% crapper than it needs to be.

A bold statement, but after watching the best part of 2 hours of basketball today, I am uniquely positioned to make this claim. This is how to fix the NBA. 

Clip arts make presentations 43% better (no reference) 

Without any particular order, the following amendments must be made by Commissioner Silver:

1) The moment that Dwyane Wade retires, the league must scrap the conferences and seed playoff teams according to league-wide win records. I enjoy the fact that the Heat should cakewalk to the finals this season. But it is clear that the difference in quality between the top four teams in each conference is wider than Big Baby's prom night suit jacket. It's disappointing to watch the rotting carcass that is Kevin Garnett brick open lay ups while guarded by the likes of Ray Allen, and we should not have to do so in the second round of the playoffs. Meanwhile, a Clippers team featuring two future first ballot hall-of-famers (CP3, Barnes) will likely be hustled out in 6 or 7 games by the Thunder. Don't get me wrong, OKC are a great team, and the chemistry between KD, Russ and any referee during the fourth quarter is a sight to behold. But we would be better served by having elite teams on opposite sides of the bracket, with the great match ups in the later rounds, and as soon as Wade hangs up his jockstrap this must be implemented. The latest numbers project the league would be 0.5% better in this scenario.

2) The NBA must slash the number of replays and fourth quarter time outs to 1 for each team in the last 2 minutes of a game. In today's matchup between the Clips and the Thunder, I spent more time adjusting my scrotal position in my ever tightening pants than I did watching basketball. This is due to the NBAs insistence that every call is reviewed when a star player bitches about a flagrant foul or out-of-bounds scenario, which just happens to be every single play in the fourth quarter. There was one possession in which CP and Russ collided and the ball was knocked out of bounds. The refs made opposing calls regarding possession, and Chris Paul began bitching like he'd been voted off the Bachelorette, while Russ made what can only be described as a vicious rape face. This led to approximately 6 minutes of TV review, and four minutes of scrotal repositioning, completing killing the mojo of the game. It's bullcrap and everyone hates it. The league instantly becomes 0.5% better if the change is made.

3) The NBA needs a fundamental overhaul of the statistics presented on-screen during a televised game. The current wave of statistics are nice and all, but not particularly interesting. Today an ad was displayed for the NBA draft combine, and this got me thinking, what statistics do they gather at the event? Height, weight, vertical leap and so on are great but they don't tell you what every NBA fan wants to know - How big is his schlong, and what happens to it during an NBA game?

Think of it this way, would you rather see a graph with percentage of teams 4th quarter points for Westbrook and Chris Paul, or would you rather see a pop-up 'Schlongometer' when they hit a go-ahead step back three? And wouldn't this give a whole new meaning to the term 'heat check'? The fans want to know what's happening down there when the games on the line. What is the physiological response that occurs to the wang of DeAndre Jordan when he's on the line to win the game? 

As far as I can tell, if they give us this, the league is 39% better. And it's probably higher.

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